PBU - or not...

Well, I have been let down by the topic selection for this week's PBU post. I decided to go to the blogroll and check out what others were posting to maybe get some ideas on how to develop the topic. Turns out, quite a few others decided to ditch the topic too. The topic, for those interested, is Red Scare in 2005(?).

Now, I can see the connection. I mean, according to the Wikipedia free encyclopedia site, the term "Red Scare" has been applied to two distinct periods of intense anti-Communism in United States history that were characterized by the suspicion and aggressive investigation of persons associated with communist and socialist ideology or political movements. The right to free association in America makes it impossible to convict a citizen for simply belonging to a subversive group, or groups and individuals who sympathize with these groups. However, during the first Red Scare, the Espionage Act was extended with the passing of the Sedition Act in 1918. These laws made it illegal to speak out against the U.S. government as well as giving the Postmaster General power to deny mail of citizens suspected of being dissenters. However, the United States later repealed both of these acts in 1921.

The roots of the Red Scare lie in the efforts of the U.S. government to suppress dissent and engineer pro-war opinion (for American entry into World War I). From the efforts of the government to promote their agenda while concurrently censor various media, the feelings of the public majority shifted from being strongly isolationist to actively pro-war in a matter of months.

Hmmm, so, maybe a little connective to today's events. However, I would have said it is more "Red Scare 2001-present". Anyway, that's the topic.

I think that (again) I am outdone by the post by DemiOrator on the possible secession of Vermont. That is a much more interesting topic to me than putting a label on political tactics (no matter how underhanded).

Also, I think that this site is rather poignant.

Finally, this seems to be a popular idea going around the blog world... are you one of the more motivated writers out there? I would do it but I am busy with my own 175 pg masterpiece (*snicker*). I think I would like to write a sci-fi novel that is of an Orwellian theme. Really delve into that depressing, anti-utopian future that I easily imagine.

Is there something wrong with me? I am sooo negative about the future of the human race (generally). And why do I still want to have kids? I confuse myself. Maybe I could write about that instead... the next year. Could you imagine if you did this just every other year of your adult life! Whoa. That's a lot of novels, like, 30.


Credit: These Monday entries are my attempt to add my voice to the cause for the Progressive Blogger Union (PBU). If you care to read what other PBU members have written about this week's topic, you can look under the subject header "PBU44" at the PBU group at Flickr. Or you can plug "PBU44" into the Technorati search engine.

Halloween

So what is everyone going to dress up as? Me? Nothing. In the past I have been the one who sews her whole “original” costume for the holiday.

It isn’t that Halloween is particularly near and dear to my heart. In fact, it really isn’t. However, my friends in grad school would always throw a huge party and just about everyone would dress up. It was sort of a friendly competition.

Now all of my friends have graduated and moved away and I have no party to go to. Not everyone is in the same boat as me. I have overheard people in the gym’s locker room talking about what they are going to be for this season. Now, mind you they are undergrads (so any chance at good taste is out the window), but apparently there are two things everyone wants/plans to go as… A hurricane victim or Britney Spears.

It gets better. I heard a group of four women planning to all go as Britney Spears. They are going together. They are each going to be a “different” Britney. How’s that for funny. The one who is being saddled with the “pregnant Britney” costume was lamenting that everyone else gets to be hot & sexy and she is just going to look fat. I had no pity for her. I thought about suggesting that she instead go as “new mom Britney” where the magic of an early twenty-something giving birth means she can snap back into her original self in a few short weeks of hard work. But I kept my mouth shut.

Since I have to live vicariously through others this holiday… what are you going to be? Something new and novel? Making a strong political statement? Or the easiest thing possible – recycling something from a past year already in your closet?

Happy Halloween! (yes, early, because Monday will be a PBU post)

Lookie, Lookie

Yes, lookie, lookie at who has a defense date set!!

I'm gonna wiii-iiin, I'm gonna wiii-iin! (said in sing-song voice with thumbs in ears and magic fingers)

Thanks to everyone who's commented with support messages!

Short blog... just had to say thanks and share the good news... now, back to work.

I Haven't Missed...

1) the library

2) the endless e-mails with profs and secretaries for scheduling

3) the constant stomach ache

4) the loneliness

5) the dissertation

These are the top five things I didn't miss when I was on my "break" during Sept. and most of Oct. I am back at it after finally meeting with my bossman. Blah.

We had our first sit-down together on Saturday since submitting my dissertation in late Aug. Yes, the man wanted to schedule a meeting on Sat. This is not new. We have had them before. He believes in a six-day work week.

I felt like I was going into battle and it was appropriate. It was not pretty. I think most of you are familiar with what I will coin "the academic fight". We didn't raise our voices. We didn't swear. Nobody cried (I was quite proud of myself on that count). We did, however, make it very clear to the other person that each of us was in no way happy or pleased with what the other person had to say.

The third party member, we'll call them TDC, didn't show. Apparently, Sat. meetings are not the norm for TDC and TDC didn't check the TDC schedule on Friday afternoon. So, there was no moderator. Also, the moderator (TDC) had told me that s/he would speak with bossman prior to the meeting.... but didn't. This became painfully apparent when I asked bossman if we should wait for TDC before starting the meeting. He was completely taken aback. This did not help the "tone" of the meeting.

I won't go into the gory details but will instead focus on the positive... there are some good things that came about from the meeting.

1. I now know what journal "we" are submitting the manuscript to and can, therefore, write it more appropriately by fixing the text, length, figures and citations to match the journal's format.
2. The article needs only to be submitted, not submitted AND accepted before he will sign off on my dissertation.
3. I can go ahead and format my table of contents (apparently) because when he said that I had a good 1st draft - that meant he wasn't going to make any big changes. News to me and happy to hear it. Unfortunately, he still has not given me a single page of the stupid thing back with comments. I am just praying now that he does not broadside me with major comments/changes after the defense.
4. I am "allowed" to try to schedule a defense. Given the short time before I need to be done (according to our graduate school policy on dissertation submissions), this will most likely be a problem. I have already been informed by one committee member that my two week window is being whittled down to three non-consecutive days owing to his schedule.
5. I didn't lose it - no crying or yelling. Almost, but not quite. Yeay for me!

So this is where I am at. I need to do major revisional work on the manuscript. I need to format my table of contents. And I need to (basically) rewrite my abstract because it is entirely too long and "clunky". We talked about the dissertation abstract in the meeting too so at least I have a fairly decent idea where to start with that revision as well.

Overall, I think it went as well as I could hope except for not getting back any written dissertation comments. I don't care how many times he wants to say it is a good first draft - I want to see that he hasn't bloodied it up. Also, he's made it clear he isn't available until after Nov. 4th so that puts me in a tough place as far as corrections/revisions to anything dissertation-related before I need to give out copies to my committee. But, I don't really care. My committee certainly won't. They are both too busy and too "important" to read any of it word for word. At least, I would be fairly shocked if they did. Not the normal protocol for either of them.

I'm actually a little freaked out. I feel like I have been waiting for so long. Now that it looks like it is going to happen - I don't entirely believe it. I do, however, believe all of this work I gotta do. Ugh! So, there you have it. It doesn't suck nearly as much as I feared it would! Still sucks but not as much as it potentially could have! Well, maybe I better shut my big mouth. I still have over a month for things to get wildly horrible.

Wait... is that a light?? A light at the end of the tunnel?? Oh, sweet brightness!

Oh The Fun We'll Have!

I fear that I will become one of the world's worst bloggers when I am in canadia more full time. I get so distracted by mundane day-to-day things when I am up at the bf's. Meals to cook, places to go, things to clean, and sleeping in to be done.

Anyway, I am back in the Ol' U. S. of A. I got back earlier today. I am going to go meet the person I am living with for the next two months in about 15 minutes. I am a little nervous. Some late-twenties computer consultant with an extra room in his condo. For those of you who remember, the last time I ended up living with a guy I didn't know it was fine. I called him "bunny-man" because he had one room in his condo just for his three rabbits.

This guy has a girlfriend so at least I am pretty sure he won't be icky. The condo isn't in the best neighborhood ever but it could be worse. We'll see....

The trip was faboo! I saw "A History of Violence" in the theater. It was actually pretty good (I thought). It had gaping holes in the storyline but if you can get past that problem, it is fairly decent. There are a few visually shocking scenes.
I went to a CFL game. That was really fun! I think I definitely prefer the three downs format. Makes for a bit more excitement. I think they need to move the goal posts but that is neither here nor there. Not me that is going to run into them. The different format completely changes the game. Great fun!
Went to a BBQ. Went out to eat at restaurants. Went bowling (and got a score of 100 or better for each of the three games). Played a board game and got my ass kicked.
Tried my hand at baking cookies from a family recipe - the bf's family... They turned out okay. Need to smash them down next time. Tried a few "healthy" recipes from the web. Overall - bland but decent. Definitely a work-able start for some good alterations/additions.

Had some interesting conversations with the bf. He has threatened to write a blog about it. We'll see. I am not going to get into it. In short: Women really are from a different planet than men.

I'm not so happy to be back in the states but I'm holding strong with the plan that I will get to set a defense date for sometime in the next month. An all-together frightening and exhilarating thought!

Travel + Me = Bad

Well, at least I made it safe and sound... finally. I am here at the bf's for a week. Yeay! I may need to do a little work but basically I am free and clear. I plan to crochet and cook new foods. Should be good.

Of course, getting here was not entirely good. I mean, I should have known when the cab was 10 minutes late. grrr. My flight was at 7:45 so I scheduled the cab pick up for 5:30. That gives me an hour for travel in rush hour with a 15 minute buffer. Should be fine. Good thing I had the buffer because I didn't actually leave until 5:42. And for those of you who know me - no! it was not my fault! I was on the curb waiting right at 5:30. There was no way I was going to miss this flight!

I get to the airport and check in. Rather uneventful except that one of my checked bags was too heavy and so I had to throw some stuff into my backpack instead. Security is a hassle (why are we still required to take our shoes off??) but not an issue.

Since it was a direct flight, I had planned on eating dinner at the airport. The fact that international flights require you to check in an hour ahead of departure means I can safely anticipate having time to kill. I picked Chili's instead of bad fast food. Got seated fairly quickly. Then waited. Finally got my order in. Food arrived. Never got my glass of water. I finished eating and realized I needed to get going. They start boarding 30 minutes to flight time and it was right around 7:15. I'm not in a rush but getting the bill would be a good move to make. I try to find my waitress. She isn't ANYWHERE. Grrr. I flag down another waitress. She promptly tells me she isn't my waitress. Ah, yeah. I know that. Did I mention she was a little rude about it. I ask if she could just let my waitress know that I have to get going. She walks away. A few minutes later, I ask the hostess. She asks if I know her name. Is she kidding me?? I'm at a Chili's To Go at the airport and need to pay my bill so I can leave. Is my priority really going to be noting the bad waitress' name??

Fast forward another three or four minutes. Still no waitress. I put my jacket on and collect my bags. The couple at the table to my right AND the guy at the table on my left (who both have the same waitress as me) are now urging me to just stiff the girl. I am serously considering it. I mean, I have a soft spot for service people having been a waitress but this is ridiculous. Finally, as I am walking away, I see her and she motions that she will be right over. Yeah, finally.

By the time I get to the gate, I am starting to have concerns that I will be the last one to board. Not that this is a huge problem but it always makes me feel awkward. Plus, I am pretty sure it is a full flight and that means that I might have trouble finding overhead space for my (now overfull) backpack.

Now, at this gate, there are apparently two planes. It is unclear what the line is for - my flight or the other flight. No one seems to know anything. Finally, I make it to the gate area just as they make an announcement that the Edmonton flight has some sort of issue (unclear speaker system) and that we should wait on the left. I confirm the announcement with a couple next to me who are on the same flight. (see note on bad speaker system)

At this point I make a fairly critical error. I figure if they haven't started boarding that I should have time to run back 75 meters to get a bottle of water and some gum.

On my way back, I see quite a few people leaving the concourse. Then I see the couple that I know are on my flight. They inform me that they have directed all passengers to go to gate C2. Apparently, a late gate change. Oh how nice. It is already 7:30.

So off we all troup to gate C2. Now, in O'Hare, to go from B22 (our original gate) to C2 requires going through a connecting tunnel. Plus, B22 is as far from C2 as possible without going to a different terminal entirely. Below is the diagram of the concourse.




The numbers are hard to see but B22 is in bottom right side on that little kidney bean shaped wing of the B concourse and C2 is at the top left of the C concourse.

Now, here is why traveling with me should be avoided... Once we (at least 1/2 the passengers on my flight) got to the new gate, just after sitting down (as there was no sign to indicate they were boarding my flight), there was another announcement. "This announcement is for the passengers of flight ___ to western canadia, we are sorry for the inconvenience but your flight is boarding at gate B22." WTF?!!?? "The gate change announcement was incorrect, your flight was and is boarding at the original gate, B as in Boy, two-two, B22."

Needless to say, the flight is now delayed more than 1/2 hour. I have to pee. I decide to stop at the bathroom on the way back because, who are we kidding, I walk faster than some of my more 'senior' passenger comrads. By the time I get back to the original gate, I have broken a sweat AND I am the last one on the fucking plane! I guess I took too long to pee.

On the upside, we made up about 1/2 hour during the flight! Woohoo! We were hardly late at all. Bummer, the plane was totally full. I had to have the flight attendent stow my backpack because there was no room in any of the bins in my vacinity. I think it ended up in first class. I've thought about writing a letter to the airline bitching about the whole thing but I won't because, ultimately, I'm too lazy.

I'm just happy to be here! I got a little bit more of a workout on Tues. than I anticipated but that's okay. My thights needed it. Speaking of those pesky thights, think I will go do my bootcamp DVD... because I can! :)

More Scary Chemical Stuff?

My best friend and her husband just moved to Texas. Why, you ask? Because they are both chemists. Why is Texas particularly overrun by chemists? Because there is petroleum. A lot of products (not just gasoline) are produced from petroleum. In fact, there are many, many chemical manufacturers in the southern states. LA has it's fair share (as reflected by the soaring gas prices at the pump due to hurricane destruction).

Why is the topic of chemical companies in Texas on tap for a bloggers union dedicated to things of social importance? Why are we blogging about chemical companies this week? Because there has been another explosion at a refinery. During this year, Texas industrial facilities have suffered three blasts. The first one, in March at BP, killed 15 and injured 170. The same refinery has a second explosion in July but with no injuries. This last one was at a Formosa plant. The Taiwan-based company's US facilities had a blast about 17 months ago.

You can find a summary of the situation here.

I think the problem I have with this week's topic is that, basically, I don't have any problem with chemical plants. What I have problems with are shodding engineering that makes them unsafe. Government inspectors not enforcing building codes and environmental laws / pollution controls. People basically doing things the "cheap" way. They don't know what caused this explosion. Was it faulty building infrastructure? Untrained employees? Or a too-demanding production schedule?

What (probably) isn't to blame is bad chemistry. Doing chemistry isn't inherently dangerous if you have safeguards in place. I don't want people to decide that chemical production is something we need to eliminate because of these events. I think what would be nice is an insistance that money can't buy people a pass from social, environmental, and personal responsibility. I want "rich" people to be held accountable for all of the shortcuts that result in these sorts of things (if it comes to light that being cheap is what was ultimately responsible). I guess in a perfect world.

I like to blog about things that actually have a hope of changing with public outcry. Holding "rich" people accountable has never been very successful. Nor has eliminating shading dealings when there is a lot of money involved. I say, let's impeach the president instead! At least that would make me happy, if only for a short while.


In any case, I really hope that next week we can blog about airlines and their employees. Either the one about the woman who can't ride an airplane with a t-shirt on that degrades Bush, or the one about the AFA union being pissed off about the movie "Flightplan". When are people going to realize we have a first amendment right to say what we want? That is part of the greatness of living in this country. Well, a bunch of our other freedoms are slowly deteriorating, why not freedom of speech? I can't wait to leave... O Canada, O Canada.


Credit: These Monday entries are my attempt to add my voice to the cause for the Progressive Blogger Union (PBU). If you care to read what other PBU members have written about this week's topic, you can look under the subject header "PBU41" at the PBU group at Flickr. Or you can plug "PBU41" into the Technorati search engine.

Bad Internet

I'm suffering from a bad internet connection so this, necessarily, needs to be short. I can't get web pages to load so publishing could be a real problem. sigh.

I talked with the department chair today. Wasn't too horrible. Looks like I might be re-enrolled for the rest of the term. That means insurance and maybe even a small stipend. Still need to go through this battle with the bossman for getting a defense date and finishing but these changes make it a little easier on life.

Here's a kicker, the bossman apparently has been saying I chose to leave last fall to teach! Asshole. Um, no. The stipend being suspended would be the reason I was forced to move back home. Grrr.

Department chair is going to support me and meet with me and bossman when he has time to meet (at the end of the month). Nice to feel like someone is in my corner. Just wanted to let ya all know.

Have a great weekend!

Are You Kidding Me?!?!

An apt title for this post... two unbelievable things here...

I hate living in a modest size town. The local police, sheriff, and state police all spend way too much time patroling for stupid shit. Like people driving across solid white lines.

I was running out to the store because I wanted to get some soda and a snack. It is a long story why we don't have snack food in the house but we don't. It was around 1am on a weeknight. Yes, I have been keeping random hours lately.

Anyway, off I go. I grab my license and some cash. Jump in the car and set on my way. Of course, no one else is one the road. It is basically the middle of the night. I arrive at a signal where I need to make a left hand turn. The light is green for the cross traffic (which there is none). The light then cycles thru to my direction but SKIPS THE TURN ARROW. So, I am still at a solid red light. Um, yeah, so it might be because I am driving a dark low-slung smallesh car but apparently I did not register as "there". Great. How long am I suppose to sit here waiting for another car to show up making a left in this particular direction. Riiight. Looks to me like a good time to just drive back into the left lane and pass through the green light. I can turn left later on a different road. I'll signal out of habit without thinking much about it but there are NO cars on the road.

I've noted that there are two parked cars at the QD and one at the gas station. None of them are by the entrances which implies they are employee cars. Too bad I did not notice the sheriff's car hidden behind some trees. Fuck.

Sure enough. After changing back into the left lane there is suddenly a car behind me and catching up fast. Oh, and there's the lights. Yup. Pulled me over. Improper lane usage. WTF??? It's after 1am, there are, quite literally, no other cars on the road and the traffic signal didn't cycle through the light I needed. I am so irritated. Then when he approaches and asks if I know what he is pulling me over for I have to bite my tongue so hard I think it might have bled. Hmmm, well, I haven't been drinking, I wasn't swirving, I wasn't speeding, I don't have any head light or tail lights out, my car registration is current and the sticker is displayed on my plates, the plate is clearly legible, I wasn't being reckless, I used my signals, I was not squeeling tires or in some other way infringing on any sort of noise regulation, and I am wearing my seatbelt. Okay fucknut, it must be because you wanted me to wait at a red light for some unknown length of time and actually have a problem with me driving over a solid white line in the middle of the night when there are absolutely, positively no other cars on the road. Geez - how fucking bored are you??

For good or bad, the car is my mom's and the most current proof of insurance wasn't there. (it actually was but it was behind the older version and it was printed drastically differently and I didn't notice it) He cited me for the lack of current insurance which means I have to go to the station with the current proof, have a cop sign off on it, and then mail it to the courthouse. What complete bullshit.

Then to top it all off he says this, "I'm letting you off with a warning but you need to be careful". BE CAREFUL?? Of what stupid??? Are you worried I might crash into a squirrel with my irratic and spontaneous driving? Oh no, he clarifies that he meant during the day. Yeah, but here's the thing stupid, it isn't the middle of the day! Although I would make the same manuver during the day, that aside, how can you assess how someone might drive during daylight with traffic based on what he/she does in the middle of the night on a deserted road? I could never be in law enforcement and I appreciate that people are willing to do it but this sort of bullshit makes me lose the respect they garner for doing a job I wouldn't want (in a smallish town where life-threatening things are rare to non-existant). City cops and state police are a completely different thing and still have my respect. But, then again, they don't bother you for crossing solid white lines at 1am on an empty suburban road.

In other "are you kidding me" news...

I had booked a train ticket down to the evil place because of continued communication issues with the bossman. Those issues being he doesn't communicate. As I posted, he (finally) e-mailed me after a month of having my dissertation to say that we should arrange to speak on the phone. Yeah, fine. I email back the same day I get the email and ask when I should call. My cell has terrible to no reception where I live so I need to arrange to drive into the "city" where there is a tower. He can't just randomly call me. A week goes by. No response. So, I finally booked a ticket this weekend to go down yesterday. Then, when I get online to email him to let him know I will be in town and we need to meet, I see he emailed me earlier that day (mon) to ask when to call. Dumbass. I don't work, I don't have social obligations, I don't have a life. Call me whenever you can - just let me know when that is! What are the chances I am going to "tell" him to call and he is going to be available? And then another two weeks to reschedule?? Or what?? For a smart man, he is a fucking retard.

So, I email back and tell him I am arriving the next day (Tues) and we can just meet in person. Here is his response:
"Wednesday ( tomorrow ) simply won't work. I leave for China later this week. The following weekend I have a meeting to go to out of town. Two weeks from this Saturday ( October 22nd ) , could we meet , say for one hour? " Note: I did change slight details to continue some level of identity secrecy

Okay, my advisor bossman is a fucknut... if he don't have time to meet in person, how the hell was he going to make time to talk on the phone?? This is just more run around. I have to defend and deposit my dissertation by Dec. 2nd in order to make the graduation deadline. Also, if I have to defend in Jan, I need to re-apply to the school because I will have been officially unenrolled and "gone" from the U for more than a year. That means more enrollment fees, insurance (as required by the school), and I won't have my degree conferred until JUNE! I'm trying to set up residency in a foreign country. This will cost time and money and FOR WHAT?? Because my advisor couldn't be bothered to deal with me? Oct. 22nd is four days shy of 2 months between me giving him a complete copy of my dissertation and me finally speaking with him for the FIRST TIME. Not acceptable.

After getting the email I called the department chair. I have an appointment on Friday. I plan to discuss how I petition to defend and deposit the dissertation without my advisor's support. I really had hoped whole-heartedly that it wouldn't come to this. But when it comes down to it, I just can't sit around my mother's house doing nothing waiting for him to "be ready" to get to work any longer. I don't know how this is going to work out. I am extremely nervous. This move definitely puts my degree in jeopardy. I guess part of me just doesn't care anymore. I have done everything expected of me. I've done my job. It's time to finish what was started. I can't take the emotional and mental abuse anymore. Finish with a masters, finish with a PhD... doesn't matter. Just needs to be finished.

Drat! Missed Monday.

Hey All,

Sorry that I missed my posting goal for Monday. I wasn't too busy, exactly. I went to lunch with a sister and had a great gab fest. Then went home and took a nap. Got up and had dinner and then watched some fantastic and some not-so-fantastic TV. Followed up by dessert out with the other sister and more gab fest. Throw in a few missed or poorly timed calls from the bf (which I didn't schedule for and felt like I was blowing him off and now feel a little bad about that even though it wasn't what I wanted to do) and you have my day.

I am leaving for the "evil place" tomorrow around lunch. It has become clear that the only way I am going to be able to move forward on the disseration is to stage a sit-in. We had a moment of brightness when he finally e-mailed the Friday before last to say we should schedule a phone meeting. I followed up with a when? when? when? e-mail the same day. Didn't hear back from him for, um, lets see, at least nine days. And all we needed to do was schedule a frickin' phone meeting. This is just stupid. Enough is enough.

Normally, I am suppose to blog about my political topic picked out by the Progressive Blogger Union but I am just not up to it. My mind is elsewhere. Sorry if that is what you were looking forward to. Back to non-political retrospect.

I'm nervous. I have been wanting to reach some sort of conclusion for some time but I was kind of hoping to have a little bit more advisor support in the final crunch than I am (obviously) going to get. I've sort of accepted that my priorities have changed and it isn't life or death if I get or don't get the Ph.D. but it doesn't make me feel less nervous. Spending over five years of my life to not get what I set out to get is just depressing. I am still fighting for it but everyday it gets a little harder. I don't know how I ended up with such a shitty research project or such a crappy "advisor". I didn't know enough chemistry to know better about the research and I didn't know enough about myself to know better about the "advisor". I actually needed an advisor and I got a hands-off, not going to help you, never happy with you boss.


Anyway, I'll be sure to post if there are any ground-breaking developments (which, at this point, would be any developments).

On a personal note, I am going to see the bf in just over a week and I CAN'T WAIT! I haven't seen him since I came back around July 4th. So, something terrible looming in the foreground but something wonderful waiting in the background.