She's Married
Yup, my best friend is married. She came close two other times but this time it finally happened. I really like her new husband. He's smart (Dr. of Chem too), he is reasonable, he is interesting and he treats her well.
What was suppose to be a very small affair turned into a rather cumbersome party of 16. Initially, just the couple, me and his good friend were going to go to the courthouse. We were the two witnesses, which they don't actually need, and that was going to be it. Just the four of us. However, the families were having nothing to do with this plan. First Hubby-to-Be (HtB) told his parents and they were pretty insistent on coming. Of course, then Wife-to-Be (WtB) parents had to be there. Then... the grandparents got involved. Basically, it just exploded into a party of people. I think it is really nice that all of these family members were able to travel on such short notice (about 1 wk). Even HtB's sister made the trip. However, the more people you have, the more logistical issues you deal with...
All these people meant that we didn't all fit in the magistrate's office. Now, it is a sure sign that we are in the sticks when the magistrate is willing to go outside the building in order to officiate the ceremony where everyone is able to "attend". We lucked out that it was a very pleasant afternoon. A blue sky, reasonable temperatures, and a slight breeze. After a very short ceremony, we signed the documents that said we had witnessed the event and it was done. Afterwards, the pointless milling about commenced. Sigh.
Now, call me whatever you must, but I hate the pointless milling about that happens whenever you get a group of, say, more than one and there is no clear "director". The couple wanted to do two things: go to dinner at a local restaurant and take pictures at a location less than a block from the restaurant. It was probably because I was not surrounded by my family and friends that I was feeling antsy. Maybe if it was me and it were my "day" then I wouldn't be annoyed by the pointless milling about. Oh, who am I kidding, I would be annoyed. Nope, scratch that, I would be telling people to go to the picture spot. My choice - take the pictures before the sun is at a weird angle. But, no. After about 15 minutes of hemming and hawing (because no one is able to take control of this runaway train), we decide to go eat. I find out later that they had reservations for dinner that were fairly early in the evening and we really had no choice. I mean, that's fine but just tell people that... well, at least, I would. But not my day, not my deal, I just gotta follow the crowd.
After a nice dinner (where the service was downright laughable), we leave to take pictures. Actually, let me return to the dinner for a short moment. When I said laughable, I wasn't kidding. WtB and I were, quite literally, laughing. She ordered a few bottles of wine for a toast. She told the waitress that everyone should get a glass. The waitress then brings out six wine glasses and the two bottles of wine. She opens one, pours people wine (without the choice between the two) and then has to leave the area to retrieve more glasses. Then she decides, oh, maybe I should open the second bottle and give these people a choice. Oh, the bright, bright lightbulb above her head - I almost needed shades - NOT! Then, after a second set of six glasses, she goes back and retrieves 4 more glasses. And then distributes them. Did I mention that whichever wine was not chosen was carefully stored in the crook of her arm while she poured the other one. Chilled white wine. In the crook of her arm. The entire meal was handled with this level of class. It was funny it was so bad. Clearly, we were in the sticks.
And so, picture time arrives. Oh course, first we must have pointless milling about in the restaurant. We can't just get up and leave. No, that would be too straightforward. It makes me giggle, really. Finally, everyone is at the picture location. Oh surprise, no one is taking charge. And, yes, you guessed it, I could hold back no longer. I ended up ordering all the family around, where to stand, different backdrops, when to smile (to avoid traffic in the background), and so forth. People suggested I would make a good photographer - yeah, thanks, but lets wait until we actually see the pictures. The sad part is that I enjoyed myself.
I say, "the sad part" because this event really highlights just how bossy and controlling I am. Shit. I thought this only came out in family situations because I was "second in command" to my mother who was the "director" of our family. When she isn't there, I take over. This occasion, however, showed me that, no, it isn't a family thing... it is in fact a character flaw! I have no idea how to stop this/myself from happening. And so, it makes me sad. I know I have plenty of flaws but I really thought this was isolated to family stuff (and I had been making efforts to lessen the dictatorship that is "the chemgoddess"). This whole thing brings up the point that I so totally unaware of myself. I do believe that everyone can/should/may learn something new each day but this is NOT something I wanted to learn. Waaaaaaa!
On the upside, I am completely happy for WtB who is now just W. She married a really great guy, they are both officially Dr. H and Dr. W (defended Aug and June, respectively), and they are moving for Dr. H's great job in Bush Country (TX) where they both fit in just fine. (surprised? yeah, I don't get it either) Pointless milling about aside, both families are totally excited about the marriage and it looks like a great start to a great thing.
What was suppose to be a very small affair turned into a rather cumbersome party of 16. Initially, just the couple, me and his good friend were going to go to the courthouse. We were the two witnesses, which they don't actually need, and that was going to be it. Just the four of us. However, the families were having nothing to do with this plan. First Hubby-to-Be (HtB) told his parents and they were pretty insistent on coming. Of course, then Wife-to-Be (WtB) parents had to be there. Then... the grandparents got involved. Basically, it just exploded into a party of people. I think it is really nice that all of these family members were able to travel on such short notice (about 1 wk). Even HtB's sister made the trip. However, the more people you have, the more logistical issues you deal with...
All these people meant that we didn't all fit in the magistrate's office. Now, it is a sure sign that we are in the sticks when the magistrate is willing to go outside the building in order to officiate the ceremony where everyone is able to "attend". We lucked out that it was a very pleasant afternoon. A blue sky, reasonable temperatures, and a slight breeze. After a very short ceremony, we signed the documents that said we had witnessed the event and it was done. Afterwards, the pointless milling about commenced. Sigh.
Now, call me whatever you must, but I hate the pointless milling about that happens whenever you get a group of, say, more than one and there is no clear "director". The couple wanted to do two things: go to dinner at a local restaurant and take pictures at a location less than a block from the restaurant. It was probably because I was not surrounded by my family and friends that I was feeling antsy. Maybe if it was me and it were my "day" then I wouldn't be annoyed by the pointless milling about. Oh, who am I kidding, I would be annoyed. Nope, scratch that, I would be telling people to go to the picture spot. My choice - take the pictures before the sun is at a weird angle. But, no. After about 15 minutes of hemming and hawing (because no one is able to take control of this runaway train), we decide to go eat. I find out later that they had reservations for dinner that were fairly early in the evening and we really had no choice. I mean, that's fine but just tell people that... well, at least, I would. But not my day, not my deal, I just gotta follow the crowd.
After a nice dinner (where the service was downright laughable), we leave to take pictures. Actually, let me return to the dinner for a short moment. When I said laughable, I wasn't kidding. WtB and I were, quite literally, laughing. She ordered a few bottles of wine for a toast. She told the waitress that everyone should get a glass. The waitress then brings out six wine glasses and the two bottles of wine. She opens one, pours people wine (without the choice between the two) and then has to leave the area to retrieve more glasses. Then she decides, oh, maybe I should open the second bottle and give these people a choice. Oh, the bright, bright lightbulb above her head - I almost needed shades - NOT! Then, after a second set of six glasses, she goes back and retrieves 4 more glasses. And then distributes them. Did I mention that whichever wine was not chosen was carefully stored in the crook of her arm while she poured the other one. Chilled white wine. In the crook of her arm. The entire meal was handled with this level of class. It was funny it was so bad. Clearly, we were in the sticks.
And so, picture time arrives. Oh course, first we must have pointless milling about in the restaurant. We can't just get up and leave. No, that would be too straightforward. It makes me giggle, really. Finally, everyone is at the picture location. Oh surprise, no one is taking charge. And, yes, you guessed it, I could hold back no longer. I ended up ordering all the family around, where to stand, different backdrops, when to smile (to avoid traffic in the background), and so forth. People suggested I would make a good photographer - yeah, thanks, but lets wait until we actually see the pictures. The sad part is that I enjoyed myself.
I say, "the sad part" because this event really highlights just how bossy and controlling I am. Shit. I thought this only came out in family situations because I was "second in command" to my mother who was the "director" of our family. When she isn't there, I take over. This occasion, however, showed me that, no, it isn't a family thing... it is in fact a character flaw! I have no idea how to stop this/myself from happening. And so, it makes me sad. I know I have plenty of flaws but I really thought this was isolated to family stuff (and I had been making efforts to lessen the dictatorship that is "the chemgoddess"). This whole thing brings up the point that I so totally unaware of myself. I do believe that everyone can/should/may learn something new each day but this is NOT something I wanted to learn. Waaaaaaa!
On the upside, I am completely happy for WtB who is now just W. She married a really great guy, they are both officially Dr. H and Dr. W (defended Aug and June, respectively), and they are moving for Dr. H's great job in Bush Country (TX) where they both fit in just fine. (surprised? yeah, I don't get it either) Pointless milling about aside, both families are totally excited about the marriage and it looks like a great start to a great thing.
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